I need to make it a habit to blog more frequently... This is something I really enjoy so I need to make time for it! Hope you missed reading :)
Yours truly! (With absolutely no makeup on at that! #BOW haters!)
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It's been a while since I've made a post and I've got to say a lot has happened! Being here at Howard at this point in my life is truly teaching me a lot about myself and a lot about other people and how they act. I'm glad I can look at others and take from what they do and say and then in turn reflecting on myself personally and improving where I see flaws.
I have realized I am a very compassionate, giving person, and people take advantage of me for it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not mad, I choose to be so giving; I can't even be mad. What does it do for me to be mad when I have put myself out there and made myself vulnerable to peoples behavior such as this? I have no control over how people act and no matter what I do or say can change that. Bottom line -- PEOPLE ARE GONNA DO WHAT THEY WANNA DO WHEN THEY WANNA DO IT. Point blank period. No negotiations. All I can do it control myself and be the best person I can be.
So what can I do in such situations that I find myself in ALL THE TIME? Remove myself. That is all. Don't allow yourself to be mistreated by anyone regarding any matter. KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH and VALUE and APPRECIATE IT. At the end of the day, no one is going to hold it down for you BUT YOU. It's never about allowing yourself to be disrespected. I, personally, am the type to just stop talking in the middle of an argument because two parties yelling back and forth isn't going to resolve anything. If I've said all I can say and tried my best to correct the matter, then what's the use? It's not that I lack consideration for the person, its not that I don't value the relationship, it's not that I'm weak and get pushed down by the other persons words . . it's life is too short for me to invest time, energy, and emotion in a relationship that isn't going to be a positive factor in my life.
What's the point of having a relationship that you constantly have to worry about the person not giving their 50 percent? There is no relationship worth giving 90 and receiving 10. As much as you care about the person you must realize and understand that after they have proven what kind of person that they are, they are not going to change. As many times as they tell you differently, as many times as you blatantly tell them how they're making you feel . . most oftentimes it's no use.
Finally, I have been able to accept the fact that I've been battling a toxic relationship for a while now, and I am taking the steps to getting past it. Don't get me wrong, its a process to detox yourself after being "sucked dry" of everything you have to give (in one of my cases, for an extended period of time -- The earlier the discovery the easier it is it move on). But as hard as it is, at the end of the day, it feels so great to know that I stood up for myself and didn't allow someone to be so ruthless and break me down until I have nothing left to give to the next person who just may turn out to be just as compassionate as me....
